Karma Shmarma - Sifting Through it All

Nearly ten months ago my world came crashing down around me like a 9.9 magnitude on the Richter scale.  Life as I knew it for nearly two decades is gone, and the aftershocks keep coming.  One of the very first questions we often ask ourselves in such moments is, "Why did this happen to me?", "What is the meaning?", or as some people ask, "What is the lesson the Universe or God is trying to teach me?"  In addition to asking such questions at times myself, I have given much time to inquiring into the nature of such questioning.  We humans are complicated beings, or at least we surely can make our lives complicated.  Whenever we do not understand something, or when we need to have some meaning to events we often enter into some kind of cosmic search for the answers.  We are also very good in such creative abilities as to "create God in our own image".  Whether you call It God, the Universe, or Buddha-nature, in the west we mean the same thing - some larger power is mysteriously involved with what's happening in our lives.

The western interpretation of the concept of "Karma" is often, "...demonstrated in the phrase what goes around comes around. The concepts of reaping what you sow from Galatians 6:7, violence begets violence and live by the sword, die by the sword are Judea-Christian expressions similar to karma.  Some observers have compared the action of karma to Western notions of sin and judgment by God or gods, while others understand karma as an inherent principle of the universe without the intervention of any supernatural being.  In Hinduism, God does play a role and is seen as a dispenser of karma. (See Karma in Hinduism, where the concept originates, for more details.) The non-interventionist view is that of Buddhism and Jainism." - Wikipedia.  Or as often as most people use the term to explain events in their lives, it takes on the shape and form of some mystical spiritual consciousness doling out what we deserve for our actions in this life or some past life.  After thirty five years as a monk, and ten months of the worst suffering I have ever known - I'm not buying it!  I agree with the fundamental physical law of the Universe that, "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." - Isaac Newton, so when we make choices in our lives we need to be prepared to live with the consequences of those choices. 

But what about what others do to us or, such events as natural disasters?  A very dear friend of mine at dinner recently asked me, "Why do you think this has happened to you Roshi?"  I heard the question as if he was inferring that somehow because of my religious devotion and the years and numbers of people I have ministered to, this shouldn't be happening to me.  (In one sense he's right, this should not happen to anyone.) Or that maybe I would be able to explain it in some mystical understanding of let's say, "karma" for example.  Again I do hold to the concept that every time we make a choice there will be results or consequences that come from those choices, and we need to be "prepared", or need to consider our choices closer before making them.  Remembering that we will have to live with the consequences only because of the choice we made.  But when other peoples actions harm us this is my opinion.  I say "this is my opinion" for reasons I'll explain in a few moments.  When other people's actions or choices harm us in any way and we find ourselves the victim or recipient of their actions, the reason why "it happened to us" is because - they chose to do what they did to us.  It's really that simple!  The same can apply to when we find ourselves in the middle of a natural disaster or personal tragedy.  If an earthquake or some other natural event takes place in Shamong NJ and Pine Wind Zen Center would collapse, it happened because Pine Wind is in Shamong NJ.  I don't believe that God, or Karma, or The Universe is doling out some payment for the past, or that The Universe is "trying to teach us something".  What a terrible omniscient being that would be.  It sounds more human to me.  I believe that, "shit happens",  and if you had to go looking for it there is no better place than the human race.  Now I think it is important for me to say that I also don't believe that persons who are very wealthy or fortunate in this life are the recipients of a reward for their past lives.  At every moment we create this moment and the next by the choices we make.  So if you sleep with the devil and wake up the following morning burnt, it's not that God is punishing you for sleeping with the devil, it's because the devil doesn't care about you.  And, just because you may be financially secure doesn't inure that you are exempt from suffering.  Life does not discriminate.

We humans by nature are creators. All throughout our history we can find the evidence that when we can't find what we're looking for, or can't understand something, we create some explanation for it.  This has to do with the our resistance to not knowing, or with uncertainty.  A friend of mine a long time ago told me that, "Understanding is the booby prize."  We think that if we understand something, if we understand life, we believe we have control.    I have no control over anything anyone else, nature, and other man made forces decide to do, and if I'm in the path or the object of their actions well I better make sure that I am prepared.  "There gonna do what there gonna do." and "Life is suffering."

Earlier I told you that I would explain why everything I have written so far is just "my opinion" or you could say, "what I believe".  If there is any lesson or lessons we need to learn in our lifetime, I think it begins with this one, "It's all mystery, it has always been mystery, it's always going to be mystery, and nobody really knows."  At least not until we really know.  Now, we don't like to even consider that because it means that we really aren't in control, at least with the things outside us like the rest of the world or the future.  An example I often give to bring this home to my students is, "If we were to line everybody up who has done it right until now on the left side of the zendo, and everybody who has done it wrong on the right side of the zendo, both groups of people have one thing in common and one epitaph.  They are going to die!"  What is also true is that I can choose to live my life more lovingly, kindly, compassionately, and the rest, (and this is the next lesson we are here to learn), but there are no guarantees, (except the one I just mentioned above), that others will treat us the same and, we should have no expectations of rewards doled upon us by either God or Karma. 

I think St. Paul said it best when he wrote, "For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully..." , and we haven't a clue as to when "then" will come.  He also wrote that "love" is the only thing that matters - "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."  (After ten months of some of the worst suffering I have ever known, I am grateful that I still believe this! That I still believe that "love" is all that matters.)

Like the runner of a great marathon, we should not waste a moment on wondering why the road is rugged, why the rain starts coming down, or even why the earth is shaking, we should just keep running the race, our minds on each step, and our eyes on what's ahead of us.  But what is also true about the runner is that he must be skillful, and prepared for the race.  And for that he or she must train. 

For the truly spiritual person or if you will loving person, we need to train first of all in wisdom, (something I ignored years ago), it teaches us the importance to "look twice" sometime more than that, before acting; we need to train in, patience with ourselves, others, and time; we need to train in kindness and compassion toward ourselves and all other life forms that are subject to suffering; we need to train in gratitude and stop believing we lack anything that would give us cause to envy; we need to practice humility because we are all going to die; we need to live noble lives honoring ourselves and others; we need to practice real unconditional love for ourselves and others; we need to practice not being so easily angered (something even I had to work on and continue to work on), and we need to forgive ourselves and others as quickly as possible.  This is real training of mind and body.  It is never going to be easy but, "only the stuffs that taxes us has any real or lasting value."  Remembering that Love is the single most powerful force in the Universe and is the only lesson we are here to learn.  Finally we need to also remember that,  "Love (when it is really love) does not delight in harming either ourselves or others,  but rejoices in the miracle of each life and the mystery of relationship with others.  And, It is always ready to protect, to trust, even when that trust has been violated, to hope, even when it seems there is no light at the end of the race, and to persevere for however long one lives."  It doesn't matter how many times you fall, how hard you fall, or how long it takes - to keep getting back up, what matters is that you do.  Keep the faith no matter what happens to you or around you.

So let's stop concerning ourselves with questions about which we will never have any real or concrete answers, and make the decision to be the ”answer" for ourselves and our world.  Let us find the strength and refuge we need in the fact that we will not betray Love, give up on Love, and even die if we must a Lover.

"Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are making this dark journey with us.  Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind." - Henri Frederick Amiel

Pray for me.

- Seijaku Roshi